


If I Confess In Whispers, Who Will Hear My Call?

by Trashcanakin



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky wants to give him one....or one hundred, Don't copy to another site, I wouldn't say it's "anti" team cap, M/M, Pining, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tumblr Prompt, but it shows them in a bad light, ish, not team Cap friendly, tony is doing his goddamn best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 19:48:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trashcanakin/pseuds/Trashcanakin
Summary: Months had passed since the rogues were back, but not much has changed. Bucky finds himself noticing things he can't ignore, and falling for a man he thinks he can't have.





	If I Confess In Whispers, Who Will Hear My Call?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for an anon on Tumblr who requested Winteriron + "The things you said too quietly."
> 
> \---
> 
> This was supposta be a "short fic" but lmao I suck at those, I guess? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> I hope ya like it, thanks for readin'! 
> 
> I wrote this in a day and it's un-beta'd. Sorry for mistakes.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

Months had passed since the rogue Avengers came back to the states, full on with shiny pardons and a big welcome home. Months of therapy, of good nights and bad, months of struggles...but he was getting there; slowly, but surely, starting to feel like a person again. Like _himself_ again.

He couldn't say the same for Tony.

Sure, he _seemed_ fine, putting on a good show for everyone.

It was a facade, and Bucky knew it.

Bucky didn't know Tony as well as the others, but he couldn't ignore seeing the tiniest of flinches when Steve moved too quickly; ones barely noticeable if you weren't paying attention. Or the way he appears to be far away sometimes, lost somewhere else, or the minute way his brows will furrow when one of the rogues say something that hits just a touch too close to something sensitive… though Tony never commented on it. Bucky's positive he _wanted_ to, but Tony...he was trying. Trying to make it work, or maybe he was just avoiding everything. He definitely couldn't ignore the complete _exhaustion_ that overtakes Tony's features when the man thinks no one's looking anymore.

But that's just the thing.

Bucky _is_ looking.

And he _sees._

He wasn't offended in the slightest when upon their return, Tony avoided him. He _understood._ He was a _monster_.

Tony was smart to stay away from him; even if he wished more than anything to apologize and make up for it. To close the rift between them. Make amends. Start anew.

He _wanted,_ but he wouldn't ask.

That's why it came as a shock when Tony approached him first. The man looked like a cornered animal, nearly vibrating with anxiety and refusing to meet Bucky's eye. Bucky _hated_ it; that the man was so scared of him.

But he _understood._

So he waited. Stood silently by while Tony gathered himself to say what he needed, trying his best to appear non-threatening.

Tony finally looked up, still fidgeting; so Bucky sent him a soft smile, hoping it would make the man feel more at ease.

"I'm sorry!" Tony barked.

That was...surprising. _  
_

"S-sorry?" Bucky uttered in response. He was confused, to be honest, why in the world would _Tony_ be the one apologizing to _him?_ "Why?" He asked, astounded, brows raised the slightest bit.

"For...you know," Tony mumbled, waving his hands around like they held all the answers without needing to say them. He sighed. "For destroying your arm...attacking you...it," he exhaled loudly, a huff of air against the silence. "It was wrong of me, I was just so _angry._ And not even at you, just...all of it. Everything. And I'm sorry."

Bucky gaped back at the man in front of him.

They held each other's gaze for what seemed too long, neither saying a word. It grew awkward quickly, and Tony had started to fidget again. Bucky's eyes darted towards Tony's hands, focused on the movement.

 _Shit, say something, idiot!_ Bucky thought, his mind was racing. _What do I say to that!?_

"Me too!" He shouted back, internally cursing himself for yelling it; but he could barely think over the sound of his pounding heart, loud in his ears.

Tony flinched, Bucky cursed himself again; but the other man held his gaze.

"I'm…sorry, too," he stated, quieter this time; hoping the shakiness he was feeling inside didn't show through his voice.

"I...yeah, okay," Tony said, unsure why Bucky was apologizing at all. I mean, _sure_ he did terrible things under HYDRA's control, but it wasn't his _choice._ Bucky was a victim, and Tony knew that. That's why he was so upset with himself for how he'd reacted in that bunker. He's surprised Bucky even agreed to speak with him, considering what he'd done to the man.

They found themselves in a stare-down once again; two deer caught in the headlights of each other, silently standing and unsure of what to say now. Tony coughed awkwardly, averting his eyes from Bucky's.

"Thank you, Stark," Bucky said, cutting the silence.

"Tony," he said with a small grin.

"Tony," he said after a short hesitation. "Okay."

They shared a smile and a nod, then Tony left Bucky standing there in that room, confused, but hopeful. A warmth finally settling the cold inside his chest he wasn't aware existed; and a weight lifting away.

Neither said anything about forgiveness, but they both didn't think there was anything to forgive. The words weren't spoken, but they knew.

Things changed that day.

After that, Tony didn't avoid Bucky anymore.

They grew closer, formed a friendship. Full on with flirting and pet names, the whole Tony Stark package. Bucky loved it, but he realized Tony didn't act the same towards everyone. Not really.

He played a good game, but Bucky found himself noticing things about Tony he hadn't before.

He kept them to himself.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

"I just don't think it was completely necessary, Tony," Steve's voice broke through the kitchen, where Tony and himself walked through the door.

Bucky was sitting at the table, head resting on his folded arms. He peered over towards the other two and watched the conversation take place.

"Well that's what you get for thinking, Capcicle. It worked, didn't it?" Tony quipped, looking more irritated than his voice allowed through.

"That isn't the _point!_ " Steve snapped.

"Yes, well, point taken. Good talk," Tony spoke, voice clipped; clasping Steve on the shoulder, then turning towards the door to make a hasty escape.

"Tony, don't do this," came Steve's response.

"Not doing anything, Cap," Tony replied, then quickly left.

Steve let out a deep, exasperated sigh, staring at the doorway where he watched Tony's back as he disappeared down the hall.

Bucky's brow furrowed. He wasn't cleared to go on missions yet, but he was allowed to hear about them. Honestly, he didn't think the rogues appreciated Tony enough. Tony gives so much of his time and love to everyone, he does so much for them, all of them; gives _so much of himself_ in the process, and it's like none of them see it.

Or they don't care...

"I would appreciate you," Bucky muttered under his breath, gazing longingly at the same doorway where Tony escaped.

"What was that, Buck?" Steve piped up, seemingly just now noticing his friend was even in the room.

"Nothin'," he mumbled. He'll just pretend he didn't say anything, as always.

No one needed to know about the stupid feelings he'd grown for Tony.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

A crash could be heard down the hall from where Bucky was walking. It came from the common room, so he hurried towards it wanting to assess the situation. But upon arriving at the scene, his steps were halted.

There was broken glass on the floor at the end of the room, from a vase Bucky knew _used_ to be on the end table. Wanda and Tony were there, apparently in some kind of fight.

"I'm not trying to upset you, Wanda, I'm just saying that you have to try harder," Tony plead, trying to get her to understand his point.

"You don't understand, Stark!" She snarled his name. "You've never had to try for anything in your life, what do _you_ know? Your cushy billionaire life must've been so terrible. People like you, though I don't understand _why_!" She spat.

"Wanda," Tony sighed. "They'll come around. People…" he hesitated, thinking of what words he could use to help ease her agitation. He understands why she's upset, the general public being wary of her can't be easy; but he doesn't want her to give up. "After everything that's happened, you must understand that people will be...upset, but it won't last forever. They don't _hate_ you, Wanda," he spoke gently, trying to keep a calm demeanor.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, they do. You've had everyone doting on and kissing the asses of _Team Iron Man_ while the rest of us had to hide. That's on you, Stark. Trying to _force_ me out there to be humiliated is a new low, even for you," she snarled.

She was fuming, eyes wild with rage.

"I was just trying to get you some good publicity...I know it isn't easy right now, but it'll help," he tried.

"Whatever," she grumbled, turning sharply and leaving the room, glaring at Bucky on her way out.

Bucky didn't take it to heart, not that he cared much for her childish fits, but he knew she was just having a tantrum and didn't hold any ill will towards him.

Tony was standing in the same place he was when Bucky walked into the room, looking at the shattered glass on the floor. He sighed.

He looked so _tired._

Bucky figured he was unaware of his presence, but he was frozen in place, unable to bring his voice to start. Luckily he didn't have to, because Tony looked up, finally noticing him. His eyes widened just the smallest bit, and he looked ashamed.

Tony had no reason to feel that way, Bucky thought.

"Sorry, Buckaroo. I didn't...I don't," he stuttered before letting out a deep exhale, dragging his hands down his face as if it'd wipe away his troubles.

Peering back up at the taller man, Tony gave a ghost of a smile and announced his leave, stating he had things to do.

Bucky watched him go and the door shut behind him.

"I wish they could see you as I do," he muttered to no one but the silence.

He cleaned up the glass before leaving.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

"Oh my God, shut up Stevie," Bucky hissed in a whisper, watching in irritation as Tony stormed from the room; once again ridiculed by the Captain for doing his job.

"You say something, Buck?"

"No."

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

"I wouldn't treat you that way," came Bucky's voice in the quietest of breaths after watching Clint and Tony but heads for probably the hundredth time.

Clint was demanding upgrades on his gear, as per usual. Scoffing when Tony stated he would get to them later, that he was currently busy with other things.

The archer left with the words, "Okay, fine, do it later; and when we get an Avenger's call and my bow isn't fixed, that'll be more than just your problem now won't it? I bet you _want_ us to fail," hissed from his lips.

Tony looked painstakingly wounded at the implication. He would never _wish_ any harm to any of them, and he really was busy.

Everyone is always _so demanding_ when it comes to Tony. Bucky hates it.

He's never heard anyone thank him.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

"What's going on in here?" Tony said as he basically skipped into the common room. He'd been excited over making a breakthrough on an experiment he'd been running for R&D, and had just gotten off the phone with Pepper. A good phone call, for once. He also finished upgrading the Quinjet and Nat's widow bites earlier, so he felt it was a day well spent.

"Oh, we just had dinner, decided to watch some movies," Scott piped up from the couch.

"Oh," Tony replied, brows somewhat furrowed. He glanced around the room, and sure enough, nearly everyone was present.

"Something wrong?" Steve asked.

"No...no, nothing, Cap,"Tony said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"You sure?"

Tony didn't reply right away, hesitating and fighting with himself on whether to ask. "How come you didn't ask if I wanted to come up for dinner?" he questioned, trying for nonchalance and hoping to all the Gods that it worked.

"Oh, well, we figured you wouldn't want to. You're always busy and never really eat with us anyways, you know," Wanda finished.

"Yeah, true," he forced a laugh. "I was working."

He wasn't.

Tony took another glance around the room and noticed Bucky wasn't present. "Where's Bucky? How come he's not here?"

"He said he didn't want to come, bad night I guess. We tried," Steve said, tone both sounding defensive and sad. Like Bucky not wanting to attend was a personal slight to him, and Tony questioning his whereabouts was none of his business.

 _Oh._ Tony thought. _So it was just me they didn't ask._ He refused to let them see that it hurt, and hurriedly announced, "Well I have more work to do, have fun," before leaving.

Tony turned quickly to exit the room, but smacked into something, no _someone._ He hadn't been paying attention and was moving at such a fast pace, the momentum nearly knocked him backwards.

He felt two strong hands clasp his upper arms, steadying him, and looked up.

_Bucky._

"Oh! Hey, Robocop, what's up? Thought you weren't feeling well. Are you? Okay, I mean?" Tony stammered out in a rush of words.

"M'fine," he replied, meeting Tony's gaze. "Was gonna join 'em, but changed my mind…"

"Oh?" Tony questioned, brow cocked.

"Yeah, too much...noise."

"Alright, do what's best for you, Buckaroo," Tony grinned, patting the other man on the chest; then slipping away back towards his lab. His sanctuary.

"They don't deserve you," Bucky whispered, gaze following the genius as he walked down the hall. 

"What was that, Buckaroo?" Tony asked, turning his head back towards Bucky.

"Nothin', doll. Nothin' at all," Bucky called back.

Tony seemed to be contemplating something, standing still, head still turned towards Bucky. Then his eyes got big and a grin wrapped his face.

It was dazzling, Tony's smiles. His _real_ smiles. It caused Bucky's heart to flutter. He'd do anything for this man and he knew it, all he need do is ask.

"You can come down to the lab with me, if you want. I know it isn't quiet, but…if you want. Yeah," Tony stumbled over his words, unsure if Bucky would even be interested. He'd been down to the lab countless times before, but knowing he'd been having a rough night, Tony sort of regretted asking.

"Yes."

Bucky had to force himself not to sprint up to Tony with his excitement.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

They hung out in the lab for nearly two hours, but Tony received a call from Pepper for some last minute emergency that he needed to attend to by morning. He apologized profusely about it, saying it shouldn't take too long, but Bucky waved him off saying it was fine.

While Tony worked, Bucky hung out with the bots.

⤜⤑⤑⋆✩❂✩⋆⬸⬸⤛

"Do you think your dad likes me?" Bucky asked DUM-E, with a fond smile. He was mostly just humoring the bot, but a part of him still longed for it to be true.

DUM-E let out a loud, excited sounding string of beeps causing the man to chuckle.

"'Cause I sure like him, a lot, actually. The others, they don't treat him right. He deserves to be cherished. I don't know why they can't see it...but you do, dontcha? What if I helped you take care of him, would ya like that?"

DUM-E chirped loudly then started doing circles, finally stopping then grabbing Bucky's hand in his claw.

"I take it you're alright with it, huh Dumbo?"

The bot chirped again, then started shaking Bucky's hand up and down.

"Good," he said with a smile. "I'm happy you approve."

Behind him he heard someone clear their throat.

 _Oh shit, oh fuck, oh God, oh no!_ Bucky though, frozen in place; his face darkened to a deep scarlet. _How long has he been there?_

He refused to turn around out of sheer embarrassment, and definitely didn't want to know the answer to that question. 

"Bucky." came Tony's voice, smooth and much calmer than Bucky felt.

Bucky figured he should face his demons, literally, and turned around; though he was still squatting on the ground next to DUM-E.

"Yes, starshine?" He asked, feigning ignorance and hoping the red tinge faded from his face.

He knew it didn't.

"Is…" Tony began, but changed direction, "Are you flirting with my bots?"

"What?! No! You, I'm flirting with _you_ ," Bucky spluttered.

"Are you?" Tony said with a chuckle.

"What?" Bucky said, unsure how he ended up here. His heart was going to beat right out of his chest cavity; and if his face wasn't red before, it would give the Iron Man armor a run for its money now.

Tony simply cocked his brow and smirked knowingly at the flustered man; mischievous glint in his eye.

"Well I-" Bucky began, then his words were cut off by the deep, pitiful groan he exhaled; teetering close to a whine. It was embarrassing, and Bucky couldn't bring himself to look at the man.

"To answer your question, though, DUM-E's dad does really, _really_ like you. A lot, actually," Tony spoke up, mimicking the other man's previous words, giving him an idea just how long he'd been watching.

Bucky's head shot up to gape at Tony, eyes wide with surprise. He hadn't expected the genius to actually like him back. The pure delight he received from that knowledge beat out any previous embarrassment he had. He felt feverish, and giddy like an explorer who found the whole treasure chest.

"You know, FRIDAY really likes you, too. You're her favourite. I knew there must have been a good reason for that," Tony said, pushing off the wall he'd been leaning on and swaggering over to Bucky.

"Her favourite? Really?"

"Yup," Tony exclaimed, popping the P as he leaned up to plant a quick kiss on Bucky's cheek.

"You may think no one hears you, Sergeant Barnes, but I do. I have ears and eyes all over the tower, remember," FRIDAY piped up, excitedly, causing Bucky to startle.

"Right, I know that," Bucky replied, glancing briefly at the camera he knew to be one of FRIDAY's.

He _did_ know that, but for some reason it never dawned on him what the entailed. He'd been praising Tony and muttering compliments about the man, among other things not suitable for children; for _months_. Let alone the horrible threats he'd made under his breath at some of the tower's other inhabitants.

_And FRIDAY had heard it all._

"Just keep doing everything right, Sergeant Barnes, and there won't be any problems," FRIDAY said, smug.

"I'll do my best, Miss Friday."


End file.
